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I would like to see this conversation happen, or something very similar...
Jean: "So, what else did I miss?"
Storm: "I got married..."
Jean: "Oh!!"
Storm: "And divorced about a year later."
Jean: "Aw..."
Kitty: "Doug is alive!"
Jean: "Oh!"
Kitty: "And Illyana, Warlock, and Nate Grey."
Jean: "Oh! How about Rusty?"
*all silent*
Jean: "Oh, okay."
Jubilee: "I'm a vampire."
Jean: "What?"
Kitty: "About 99% of the mutant on the planet lost their powers."
Jean: "Wait, Jubilee is a vampire..."
Jubilee: "Me, too!!"
Jean: "A vampire...?"
Jubilee: "No, I lost my powers, too."
Jean: "Aw, Jubilee..."
Nightcrawler: "So did Dani, and Rictor, and Polaris, and Magneto, and the Professor, and Quicksilver, and a few others within our family."
Jubilee: "It's okay, though, I got a kid."
Jean: "... I don't even--"
Jubilee: "He's adopted"
Storm: "Charles, Lorna, Magneto, Pietro, and Rictor all got their powers back. Danielle is a Valkyrie again."
Warren: "Apocalypse is dead."
Jean: "Well, at least there some goo--"
Warren: "Except a part of him lives inside me, I think..."
Jean: "Oh, Warr..."
Warren: "And I kind of turned into him once, too..."
Jean: "*sigh*"
Kitty: "There's also a mini clone of him at the school. He's a student."
Jean: "What?"
Kitty: "It's okay, he's cool. We have a broodling as a student, too."
Jean: "O-okay... How are all the students? There were hundreds of them when I --"
Storm: "Sadly, most of them are now dead."
Jean: "What?!?"
Kitty: "It was Stryker... hate that guy..."
Colossus: "Purifiers blew them up in their busses. After they lost their powers."
Iceman: "Onslaught came back!"
Jean: "Oh, no!!"
Nightcrawler: "But it was The Red Skull and the Professor's brain."
Jean: "That makes no sense..."
Iceman: "And yet it happened..."
Jean: "How about some good news? Any new team members?"
Jubilee: "Well, Namor was on the team..."
Jean: "okay..."
Jubilee: "..and Sabretooth..."
Jean: "Wait, what?"
Jubilee: "Deadpool..."
Jean: "The killer?"
Nightcrawler: "That was strictly probationary. It didn't last."
Jubilee: "...Lady Mastermind one time..."
Jean: "oh, no..."
Jubilee: "Mystique.."
Jean: (eye roll)
Jubilee: "A couple of times..."
Psylocke: "She had sex with Robert."
Iceman: "Hey!!"
Jean: "Bobby!!"
Iceman: "One time!"
Kitty: "Twice..."
Jubilee: "And Magneto was on the team."
Jean: "What??? But, he killed me!!!"
Iceman: "Yeah, Jeannie, except that it wasn't him. It was someone else pretending to be him."
Jean: "Okay?"
Iceman: "Yeah, we're all just as confused."
Psylocke: "It doesn't matter now, Jean. I killed him."
Jean: "...Okay?"
Psylocke: "I believe him to still be dead."
Jean: "Okay.... Anything else unexpected happen while I was gone?"
Kitty: "I lead the X-Men now."
Storm: "Kitty got engaged..."
Iceman: "Bishop tried to kill a baby."
Jubilee: "Magneto isn't Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch's father..."
Warren: "Scott and Alex had a younger brother that no one knew about that tried to kill us all, but he did end up killing Corsair and Lilandra..."
Kitty: "Professor Xavier is still a jerk!!"
Jubilee: "The Danger Room was alive."
Nightcrawler: "Sam, Roberto, Rogue and Alex were all Avengers..."
Iceman: "I'm gay".
Kitty: "Logan has, like, four kids..."
Jubilee: "Gambit's not sleazy anymore..."
Storm: "We went to war with the Inhumans..."
Iceman: "Yeah, cuz they were content with letting us die..."
Psylocke: "I was dead.."
Colossus: "Myself as well."
Nightcrawler: "As did I!!"
Warren: "Banshee died as well, but my children brought him back to life and made him my Horseman of Death. I think I sort of did, too. Die, I mean."
Kitty: "Rachel came back. We sorta thought she was dead or something..."
Jubilee: "Am I dead?"
Jean: "I don't know how much more of this I can take...."
Iceman: "Movie tickets are like, seventeen dollars now."
Jean: "Okay. That's it. I think I need a vacation..." |
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